Up The Weary Web Wazoo

Thanks, I Think Hi everyone I’ve been getting some feedback about how infrequent my posts have been this year. To those of you who took the time to email me and bitch, I’ll take your complaints as a compliment and use them as incentive to write more often. Who am I kidding? In the eight…

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My Birthday

Two days ago, I celebrated (tolerated) turning sixty-nine years old. The Seeds of Narcissism The earliest birthday I can remember was my fourth. There was a party with kids from my block and of course, they brought presents. After I opened them, I took the gifts and myself into the den and shut the door. My…

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Is The Ice Still On The River

In Canada and other nations situated far enough north to have at least three months of winter-like conditions, spring hopes eternal by mid-March. In Toronto, Canada’s largest city, there are hints of better times coming. There are no daffodils, tulips, or cherry blossoms, but bright days of balmy promise start arriving with increasing frequency. Parkas…

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MtH weekly #3 Parenthetical

Digression Is The Lesser Part Of Candor ​I recently had an idea for something of a novelty item. A little pocket-sized box that could emit a fairly loud, obnoxious buzz, not unlike the horn used in large arenas to indicate the end of a period of hockey. With just the press of a button, you…

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My Future In Site

Her Comment                                                     I may have already mentioned this in an earlier post,  but I’m back to online dating again.  Sad but true, my storybook romance with Kim fizzled. A…

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Foo O’Shit

Hi everyone. I’ve had some requests to provide a profile for the philosopher I’m regularly quoting. A font of wisdom, he never fails to provide pithy and relevant aphorisms on all aspects of life, death, and the universe. First, let’s clear up a misconception. He refers to himself as “the ancient Irish-Chinese philosopher”.This is just hype. He…

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Underwear

UNDERWEAR Skivvies, Tighty-Whities, Panties, Knickers, Gautchies…….. I could go on and on. A quick web search reveals dozens and dozens of names for our closest layer of clothing. From the euphemistic Unmentionables to the blatant Booty Bag. Underwear is always funny for some reason with the exception of those dreams where you find yourself in…

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Mid Winter

Mid Winter Rant This isn’t a complaint about weather. I live in Canada along with 36.71 million other people. Here’s something interesting. A whopping 21 %  of my fellow residents were not born in Canada  ……yes, you read that right. Chances are they come from a part of the world that either has mild winters or…

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A Day Of Love

Here we go. A post about nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. With St. Valentine’s day here I’ve decided to have a thoughtful look at the day of love. My ex had no use for “Hallmark Holidays”. Same with my girlfriend, Kim. Fine with me. Even if they did think those occasions were a big deal I’d…

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Conclusion to Loch Morrison

And finally, the conclusion of Loch Morrison As shattered as my ego was and as jumpy as my nerves were, I was getting a little peckish. I headed to the kitchen to see what was left over from dinner. I already knew the main fridge had died but that a small portable one had been…

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