MtH Weekly #12 Buzz Food

BuzzFood 

Special News Bulletin     

Donald Trump’s Head Blows Up

It’s been reported that a 24 cm diameter section of president elect Donald Trump’s cranium was separated violently from the rest of his skull in a bizarre anatomical “explosion”. The section, with the hair still glued to it, was found intact, lodged in a ceiling air duct a full 40 metres away. It was reportedly retrieved by an aide and clumsily snapped back onto his head. Witnesses say Mr. Trump showed little emotion, and after a series of those “Ohs” he does with his mouth that look like a goldfish sucking air, he pulled a small mirror out of his pocket and straightened his hair. 

This occurred just after he received a phone call informing him that he was being awarded a Nobel prize. It was a prank, perpetrated by a group of Harvard grads who wanted to prove that Mr. Trump’s head would swell to critical proportions. 

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Holy  Smoke!

In what had to be an embarrassing public scene in front of Trump Tower yesterday, Mania Trump was seen throwing a shoe at the president elect and screaming “Four years! Think about it!”. Rumour has it that Mania has become disenchanted with Mr. Trump’s new hobby and wants him out of politics.

“I really didn’t think he was going to win” she confided to a BuzzFood corespondent following the incident. “He’ll be 74 when this silliness is over, and he’ll be too old to pursue his other goals,” one of which apparently, is to move to Rome and become Pope. 

“He loves the Pinky Woo (their pet name for……..ahem……..marital relations), so I say to him, no Woo for you……four years”. 

Mr. Trump, for his part, had this to say:

“She can’t do simple math. I’ll be 78 when I’m done. And when I am done, I’ll take a few Catholic WOP lessons and its off to the Vatican.”