We’re In The Year 2025
Happy New Year
I’ve talked before about New Year’s Resolutions. My favourite one is that old saying, variously attributed to Socrates, Oscar Wilde, Benjamin Franklin, Voltaire, and Mark Twain:
Moderation in all things, including moderation
Okay, so who did, in fact, say it?
To begin with, let’s rule out Socrates. Those old Greeks were a stoic bunch. They were more likely to deny all things, including denial.
Ben Franklin and M. de Voltaire leaned more towards being critical in all things, including criticism.
We’re left with two possibilities. Both Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde could have had the wit and reason to play this game, creating a loophole in what is essentially a personal contract.
But Mark Twain, who at times advocated temperance, couldn’t have had as much incentive to cleverly sneak in the back door of common sense as the flamboyant Mr. Wilde.
So, if this were a quiz, I’d have to go with Oscar.
Wise Advice
In one of my posts a few years back, I proposed that resolutions shouldn’t officially take effect until the second day of January. That allows a whole day to amend or even trash some impractical plans made at 1 a.m. January 1st—a cooling-off period, if you like.
If not for that, I would have already failed in my resolve to be punctual. This post was supposed to be sent out yesterday.
On The Up And Up
As usual, this past year saw highs and lows. I’ll skip the lows because they’ve been discussed enough, and for now, I’d rather be positive.
Our new project, The Lightfoot Band, got some legs in 2024.
Beginning with a showcase of two nights at Toronto’s El Mocambo in late January, we played several concerts in Southern and Eastern Ontario. In the fall, we did a tour of the Atlantic provinces, and we finished the year with dates in Michigan and Ohio. Our accurate renditions of Lightfoot songs mixed with mostly ad-libbed, home-spun anecdotes about the many years we spent touring was a formula that was received enthusiastically by all the audiences.
Each show became more refined and professional, and although it was generally hard work and a lot of driving, by comparison with former years, the touring was effortless. For me, at least.
Stressless
I didn’t fall off any stages or get caught in a riot. Not once did I curl up into a fetal position with my face doing Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” while flying in a Lear jet. The technical battles that had raged for years between me and my equipment settled into a tolerable cold war. It was still a gamble, but the odds were more in my favour that all that electronic crap would keep working.
Vaccinated With A Phonograph Needle
We work well together and manage to avoid conflict by keeping the lines of communication open. I find it baffling because this is supposedly achieved by having regular “Meetings.” Our “Meetings” are like being in a barnyard with half a dozen geese all honking at once……
Which reminds me of a show we did at the zoo in Toledo about twenty years ago.
No Golden Egg For You
Barry and I were driving through the grounds, looking for the bandshell. What had to be a four foot tall goose was waddling down the laneway. We pulled up along side of it and Barry asked it for directions. Geese are not known for pleasantries at the best of times and this was no exception. It attempted to stick its beak right in the open window and bite Barry’s nose off. He stepped on the gas leaving the pissed off squawking bird behind us.
Put On A Rain Hat, They’re Known To Spit
Later, Gord and I were given a hut-like building off to the side of the stage to tune his guitars. We were well into the process when a curious camel stuck his head into the open transom. It probably wondered what the racket was.
Wing Ding
Other than us, there was another special attraction at the zoo that weekend. Two Chinese Pandas were on a tour of the United States and the zoo here had them on exhibit. We were offered a chance to meet Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing privately. We went into a dimly lit room and there they were. I’ve seen snails more active than these two. “What’s the big deal?” I thought. I could have believed they were just fake mock-ups if one of them hadn’t opened one eye and, I think, farted.
Speaking of fake, we come now to my favourite bizzare story of 2024:
A Ruff Facsimile
In May, a zoo in the eastern Chinese province of Jiangsu sparked outrage after visitors discovered it painted two dogs black and white to resemble pandas. It’s just conjecture on my part but I’m thinking the jig might have been up when these passive, gentle “bears” barked, wagged their tails, sniffed each other’s butts, ignored the bamboo shoots and scarfed down a cheeseburger some kid threw into the cage.
All the best in 2025!!!