Underwear

UNDERWEAR

Skivvies, Tighty-Whities, Panties, Knickers, Gautchies…….. I could go on and on. A quick web search reveals dozens and dozens of names for our closest layer of clothing. From the euphemistic Unmentionables to the blatant Booty Bag. Underwear is always funny for some reason with the exception of those dreams where you find yourself in a public place and you realize, to your horror, that that’s all you have on. What if it’s not a dream?

One night during our first year without Terry Clements (2011) I heard some confusion outside my Hotel room door followed by tentative knocking. I opened the door to Carter Lancaster (our new guitarist) who was in his underwear. He staggered sleepily just a little and had zombie eyes. When he realized it was me he smiled, relieved I think, that he had knocked on the right door.
“I lock out”
“Nice outfit”
“Wha…..? Oh yeah. Ha ha. Can we do  jokes later? I need you  go down  lobby and night clerk tell you key my room.” he said, obviously speaking from the reptilian part of his brain, which is predominant in lead guitarists.
“This’ll be a bit of a trick, security being what it is,” I thought “I should just throw him a pair of sweats and he could do it himself. Although he’s obviously not carrying ID…..where would he put it?……… Good answer Rick”
The best bet would be to show my ID, have the clerk look up the file that shows we’re part of the same reservation group and hope I don’t have a room-mate for the night. The last guitar player I roomed with was Geetz who, you might remember from a former post, was domestically challenged and had no room for a frontal cortex because his lizard brain occupied too much cranial real estate. 

So I went down to the front desk and managed to convince an incredulous hotel employee that I was on the up and up and Carter slept the rest of the night in his own room.

Flash ahead eight years and it’s me shivering in the hallway in my underwear. The door was recessed about ten inches so I had a little bit of cover but people had to walk right by me and act as if they didn’t notice. I asked two separate couples to go to the front desk and plead my case but after half an hour I started to consider running outside to our usually unlocked rental car and sleep there. 

Then who comes walking down the hall? Carter! After one of his derisive laughs that had to have half the floor stirring, I said “Key need freezing go get”

A humbling experience for a keyboard player………. I mean, such disregard for syntax.